fishingboatproceeds:

How did this get 71,000 notes?! 

Also, now that tumblr is being bought by yahoo, does this mean I will finally get paid for every note generated? And if so, can I declare that payment as fishing boat proceeds?!

(Source: bstinsons)

(Source: expelliarmus)

efferescent:

remember when a girl from my school wore a dress the same color as the green screen at prom

oh yes

her date did too

slenclerman:

reasons to date me:
-i can pick stuff up with my feet sometimes
-ive never killed a man (yet)
-i once got 95% on guitar hero
-you can play with my hair
-im cheaper than a puppy

lieutenant-kevin-riley:

suicidallyreckless:

fuckyeahauthordog:

case-for-eviction:

Do you ever think about the word ‘can’t’

Like, when you say, “Why can’t you get me some ice cream?”

You’re really saying, “Why can not you get me some ice cream?”

How have I gone through my entire life as a writer and not realized this

I had a similar epiphany with “Don’t you dare” being “Do not you dare.”

English is weird.

Forever grateful that English is my first language.

(Source: igenerallylikewords)

aguamentis:

gargoylesarecool:

ectoghostologist:

i love being tight with teachers because you get to hear them talk shit about other teachers its so funny they all act like highschoolers except they get paid 

They talk shit about other students if they like you enough too.

did you mean band directors

(Source: johncest)

shavingryansprivates:

hannabarbarian:

basketball is so stupid like okay cool you can breathe in poison gas for 20 minutes and then die what’s the big deal

i don’t think that’s how you play basketball

(Source: dysphoriadaughter)

myheartisahammer:

usernamesarentoverrated:

This will forever be my favorite gif. 

It all makes sense now.

(Source: vaamoose)

(Source: amorphinetoast)

(Source: amorphinetoast)

tiger-in-the-flightdeck:

imjohnlocked:

in Sherlock, we don’t say “i love you”, we say “Afghanistan or Iraq?” and i think that’s beautiful.

Suitable variations also include: “Because you’re an idiot.” and “Dinner?”

wintersruins:

WHO THE FUCK MADE THIS?! I LOVE YOU!

ryaninwonderland:

who ever said high school was the best 4 years of their life must have had a really fast metabolism and was probably really popular and had lots of friends and got good grades and did not have social anxiety 

ayelen167:

What Cats Kinda Look Like on We Heart It - http://weheartit.com/entry/56429100/via/ayelen_ponce_10

Hearted from: http://cuteiupastel.tumblr.com/post/23467639354

(Source: zlkokiri)